DARVO meaning: learn to recognize abusive patterns

If you haven't heard the acronym DARVO just yet, it's time. Knowing what DARVO stands for can help you to recognize abusive patterns more easily and understand if you might be in abusive relationship. 

Do you have a person who, when you speak up for yourself and communicate what they did to hurt or abuse you, immediately turns the tables and convinces you that you are the one doing the abusing?

In your gut, you feel you are right, but don't know how to put the thoughts together when time after time they seem so convincing that you are the problem, or that you invited the abuse by not doing what they needed, etc.

If you feel like you're always running into this and don't seem to track the pattern...

It can feel challenging to recognize abuse but here's an easy trick to recognize a reaction of an abusive person or structure of power.

Know it is a real thing. An abuser's tactic.

It's time to explore DARVO meaning. 

What does DARVO stand for?

So here's an acronym that might come in handy when recognizing this narcissist/abusive person - it's DARVO.

DARVO stands for

• Deny
• Attack
• Reverse
• Victim
• Offender

Here is an example of what DARVO would look like in a real-life situation:

If you're calling out a narcissist or an abusive person, first, they deny that they've been guilty of your accusations.

They immediately deny what you're saying and turn it your way and ATTACK - "Are YOU crazy?!"

Then they reverse what you are feeling, they put themselves into the role of the victim and turn you into the offender. "No, it's YOU who's doing this. Just because of you this is happening".

And the circle goes on.

Often people won't want to take responsibility for their abuse and will turn it the otherway around.

Definitely add this on your list of red flags to be aware of...

In a conscious, emotionally mature and loving relationship (in any form - not just romantic) this will not exist.

What to do if you've realized that you're in abusive relationships?

If DARVO meaning brought up some recent situations in your life and you're starting to realize being in emotionally abusive relationships, maybe you've just realized you're in relationship with a narcissist...

Here will be some of the options I provide for finding support as you work through it all (both paid and free):

• Narcissist Recovery Support Group - FREE with bi-weekly support calls 
• Divorce/Betrayal Support Group - FREE with bi-weekly support calls
• Explore my Instant access Masterclasses and Courses. Through these self-paced materials you can learn how to set effective boundaries and re-boot that nagging inner voice. 

Joining one of our free calls can be a major step forward and it can also provide an insight in the way I work, who I am and how my no-bs approach comes across.

If you are ready to take a MAJOR step forward in your transformation process, you will want to join Rise the F Up Membership! Rise the F Up is a monthly membership where you get access to the guidance and support I wish I had when I was going through this myself.