Is self-care a choice or a chore for you?

We always talk about how important it is to take care of yourself.

It can be especially challenging after you have experienced any type of abuse or have been in narcissistic relationships.

However, there’s also the other side of it…

If you have found yourself tailoring your whole life to self-care routines and doing all kinds of daily challenges and tasks to uplevel yourself, it could be the trap!!

Is self-care a choice or a chore for you?

I recently had a client who had many kids, just like I do, and she spent a whole HOUR in the morning focusing on all kind of self-care tasks like mirror challenge, journaling, gratitude. Those of you with kids might understand the gravity of this!

What I told her to do is to STOP.

It’s important here to understand that YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM. You never were the problem.

You need to focus on discerning whether this is a pattern that fits into somebodies voice in your head (“you need improvement!”, “you fucked up!”, “you need to do better!!”) OR

You do this because it lights you up, fascinates you, makes you FEEL better.

One of the best things you can do for yourself is to learn how to sit in the quiet with yourself. How to spend time with yourself. And when you want to jump and do the next thing, sit with it first.

You are worthy to feel the way you feel and you deserve to do the things YOU want to do.

The consistent voice in your head is just that - a voice in your head.

Don’t buy into the toxic bullshit.

As soon as your routine for personal growth starts to feel like a chore or like a prison - CUT IT.

Chornic personal development is abuser's voice. It says you’re the one who’s responsible, you have to change. But that is not true!